Flame Think, Inc.

The holidays are supposed to be a period of joy and good will; however, we oft allow the season to become ripe with frustration and depression. Most experts will agree the top three causes of holiday stress and depression are physical demands, relationship issues and finances. Take a look at these culprits and see if any seem familiar.

 
Physical Demands include but are not limited to:
1. Extra shopping – affectionately known as the infamous, “Oh no, we forgot a gift for…” Just as you were ready to kick off your shoes and relax the need to jump into high gear returns. Oh the joy of trudging into the cold, fighting the swarm of humanity and standing in the immovable check out line.
2. Last minute shopping – unlike extra shopping, the last minute shopper inadvertently waits too long to buy that “special gift” for a significant other, which guarantees a drain on the holiday good cheer as you stand staring at an empty shelf.
3. Dinner preparations – you arrive home frantically needing time to wrap your gifts only to remember the turkey isn’t thawed. As you scramble to defrost the bird your children chime in: “We don’t like turkey! We want Christmas ham!” With love in your heart you scream: “Look kids, our guests (all fifty of them) are expecting Christmas turkey, so we’re having turkey for Christmas! Any questions?”
4. Socializing – You made a list and checked it twice to ensure all the relatives and closest friends were invited. Yes, your list included your Uncle Waldo whose hands grasp every thing except the dinner rolls. He’s bringing his third wife and her two screaming brats. Why did you invite them? Why? Because, they’re family. You had to invite them, right?
5. Special care for the physically challenged – Grandpa Ed uses a crutch, and Cousin Lucy uses an electric scooter. Is your front door wide enough for a scooter to pass through? Will the physically challenged be able to access your bathroom?

Relationship Issues include but are not limited to:
1. Family feuds – it’s not the Hatfield and McCoy feud, but its close.
2. Issues of bereavement – last Christmas, your husband carved the turkey at his mom’s house. This year you’re hosting Christmas at your house without your husband. His sacrifice guaranteed your freedom to be with your family. You’re dedicating this event to his memory, but are you strong enough to get through this day?
3. In-law strife – your mother-in-law didn’t approve of you when you married her son. She still doesn’t like you, and she sure won’t like you after you demonstrate your superior culinary skills.
4. Working around the dietary needs of guests with medical issues – half the family are carnivores, a quarter of them are vegetarians, and you just discovered the others are gluten intolerant. You’ve already stuffed and roasted the turkey with breaded dressing. Now what?

Finance Issues include but are not limited to:
1. Unemployment – a poor economy and 10% unemployment rate is enough to get any body down, especially the head of a household.
2. Job Market Blues – the economic forecast is as cloudy as the weather. This is not the stuff that makes for light hearted conversation.
3. Lack of Substantial Gifts – slim pickings under the tree because the money isn’t available to purchase what the family really needs.
4. Travel – the cost of fuel adds to the debt building on your credit card.
5. Food & Entertainment – you can’t disappoint your guests so you slide that card through and charge more than you can afford to pay.


If any of the above sound familiar, consider implementing these stop gap measures to reduce stress and depression.
1. Establish and stick to a budget – the holidays are not about the size or multitude of gifts. Implement the KISS rule. Keep It Simply Simple! When buying gifts less (necessities) is better than more (luxury).
2. Control Your Guess List –it’s your home and it’s your event so stay true to your convictions and invite who you want. Uncle Waldo can “feel his way around” some where else. Your holiday event should be a time of joy, not embarrassments.
3. Learn to Say No – do not allow others to invite themselves. You must know the maximum number of people you can support per budget and logistics. Likewise, if feuding family members cannot agree to put their differences aside you have the right to exclude them from your event.
4. Check Your Accommodations - if your home cannot accommodate physically challenged people PLEASE don’t invite them. Nothing is more embarrassing for a physically challenged individual than arriving at a home and having to leave because they cannot get inside. Likewise it is embarrassing for them to leave early because they cannot access your bathroom. To avoid such issues consider scheduling a separate event for them at a nice restaurant.
5. Schedule and Plan Ahead – designate specific days for shopping and stay true to your schedule. Likewise, designate house cleaning and cooking days. Identify special dietary needs and adjust your menu accordingly.
6. Understand Your Limitations and Needs – you cannot be expected to do every thing, so utilize your children’s talents. According to age and abilities, task them with appropriate responsibilities including decorating the house.
7. Don’t Burn Both Ends of the Candle – a party coordinated at the expense of your physical needs (relaxation and sleep) leads to potential exhaustion and emotional melt down.
8. Expect Emotional Shifts – if you have lost a loved one remember that it is normal to grieve for them rather you are with friends or alone. If your intent is to dedicate a holiday event to the memory of a deceased loved one, your family and friends need to know so they will be ready to participate, support and comfort you so you can get through the event. Laugh together, cry together, and celebrate life together.